Adding on..

As I wrote the blog post earlier this morning I was still tired, and realized I hadn't said some things clearly. First of all, my aunt and uncle are AMAZING parents, and have done their best with my cousin. My cousin has had to hit rock bottom in order for her to realize that she needs help (and she feels this is rock bottom). My aunt and uncle are doing what they feel is the best for her, and I couldn't agree with them more. I have been visiting her because it makes ME feel better. I have huge feelings of guilt with what she is going through, and by me going to see her, it helps me better understand the emotions she is going through. I chose not to be around my uncle, because I was afraid of him. My uncle committed suicide in 2003 after suffering for years with addiction, and I felt VERY guilty that I didn't get to know him better when he was alive. As I told her yesterday, if I could take her pain and suffering away, I would do it in a heartbeat, but she HAS to feel the way she is feeling in order for her to get better. She was very out of it on Sunday when we took her to the hospital, but is now able to communicate with me.

As I mentioned before, when I write this blog, this is a way for me to express how/what I am feeling, when I might not be able to verbally express it. As I have also mentioned before, I wish that I could be superwomen and be able to solve problems, but I can't. All I can do is be a good listener, and give the best advice that I think I can give. I'm sure that I have mentioned this quote before, but I am going to mention it again. From Pat Green's song "crazy", there is a line that I find fits this situation perfectly. "Don't you think that life would be awfully boring, if the good times were all that we had?" Pat, dude, I find that line SO true. Each experience that I, and everyone I know, goes through helps shape them into the person that they are today. Because I have a family history of addiction, drug abuse, etc, I am more aware of what and how drugs change people. I know that addition is in my family, I just choose not to let it become who I am. When you are facing troubles, you have to face it, and not let drugs mask the problem.

Thank y'all for reading this blog and for y'alls sweet words of encouragement. Until next time-

ps. On a random note.. I AM DONE WITH SUMMER SCHOOL!!!