I just realized something that I do (and that I'm sure a ton of my friends already know, but they are too polite to say). I complain.. ALOT. Why can't I just be grateful for what I have? Why do I always have to focus on the negative of every situation. This is definitely something I want to work on. I haven't been sleeping well (and I'm sure that has to do with my cheery attitude), and I am super stressed. I'm currently taking three classes this semester, which is killing me. I am supposed to be writing a 6 page paper on the Industrial Revolution but instead, I am updating my blog.
Tonight is the first night I haven't worked on homework in a while (and I am feeling super guilty.) Why am I feeling guilty? Why can't I take a time out from school, even for one night and have a break? I am SO determined to graduate asap and I am busting my ass to try to finish fast. Maybe the harder I work and finish school, my depression will get better? Who knows. I am really looking forward to next semester where I will just be taking two classes (one of my classes takes the whole summer), and it should be a blow off class (speech). Then the fall semester I am taking four classes and three of them are online.
Countdown begins for the end of this semester. I have my math final Thursday, then next Friday I take my Psychology final then the semesters over. THANK GOD! Summer two starts July 11th. I cannot believe the summer is almost halfway over. Time flies when you're having fun.. Keeping busy is good for me, but this is alittle too busy. I'm ready for a break. I'm thinking about taking a little vacation in the next couple of weeks, even if it is just one night away. That would be nice. A break from school.
I am very nervous about my math class. This is my second time to retake this class, and it is my last math class to take.. ever! Some of my grades are questionable, which pisses me off! I have been busting my ass off and my grades are not reflecting it. I feel like such an idiot. I hate math. I always have. I know that if I understood it, I would enjoy it. I have always liked to learn new things, but with math, there are a million steps and a ton of memorization for crap that I feel I will never need to know. Like log equations. When am I EVER going to use log equations in my life? I would really like it if they made a math class for people who don't need to advance in math for their majors and have make situations or equations or whatever that they would use in real life. Example: paying bills, figuring out interest rates, etc. Apparently the state is in the process of working on that class now for college students, ha, a little too late for me.
This is my request, for whoever is reading this blog. I need encouragement with this school thing. I am starting to doubt why I even came back in the first place. I love history, I really do, but is it really worth this much trouble? Tell me to snap out of it, and suck it up and move forward. I am so jealous of my friends who have graduated, have real jobs and even those who are choosing to continue their education. I'm still at square one with the college thing and I have no idea when I am going to graduate. I am not going to lie, I get embarrassed when people ask me what I do for a living, " well I'm a full time student and nanny to two adorable girls." Their facial expressions are like.. "oh.. and wait.. you're how old?" Yeah, that's right. I'm 26 and still in school. Maybe a time out would help me.
1 comment:
If I knew the words to say to help you, believe me, I would. If they come to me, then they're yours.
- Are the class and the siuation difficult? Yes, right now, clearly they are.
- Is this worth it? I'm going with 'Yes' - recognizing that I'm not the one taking the class. :-}
All I can do now is to encourage you to hang in with these courses till their end. It sounds like you're so close!
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