Hmm..

"The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma." That is the definition of the word, "addiction.", from dictionary.com. Addiction has been running through my family tree for years, and has affected every family member in some way. I got home on Sunday from my cousin's beautiful wedding in Wisconsin, to discover his younger sister (who has had a long long history of being an addict) using again. I should say that I was disappointed, but she has been on this roller coaster so many times I just wasn't surprised. Sunday evening we had to admit her to the hospital, which was one of the most scariest moments of my life. Being in that hospital er with her, and she not even being able to recognize me, or say my name was a HUGE eye opener to what life as an addict is really like.

She is now in a woman's rehab hospital where she is going through detox, and I am the only visitor she has had since she was admitted on Monday. Do I feel sorry for her? No. Should I? No. I have learned that you cannot let their life become yours and you have to learn to separate it. I am having to set boundaries with her, which is hard for me, but I think will make this process easier. My parents are pissed that I am going over there and seeing her, but for some reason I feel like I can still help her. She has been an addict since she was 17 and she is now 24. There must be a reason why God made me the person that I am, me being very sensitive and caring helps my care-giving personality shine. I wish I could show her that V8 commercial where the guy or the girl wants to eat the crappy food instead of drinking a V8 and he/she gets thumped in the head by the one that wants that person to drink the healthy drink. My cousin needs a BIG thump. I can only help her so far, but she has to WANT to get help. So here I am, already have spoken to here once and it is barely 8 AM. I need to work on this seperation thing a little bit more.

On a another note, I take my last final of the summer at 10:00 this morning! Ah to be done with summer school, I can barely contain my joy! I am VERY ready for two weeks off (technically a few days, I will still be working : )), but I am just ready to be able to enjoy my weekends without having to write a paper, or study for a test, or write a speech. I do like the fact that I took 4 class this summer, and yes it was hard, but it was a challenge that I clearly passed. My next step is to apply to UH and finish up my last semester at HCC before I transfer next spring. Am I excited for this next step? Hell yes! Am I ready? I think so. I appreciate school so much more since I am paying for it, and I now know what I want to do with my life. I am a late bloomer when it comes to going back to school, but I know why I wasn't ready in the past. I am just ready to finish ASAP so I can graduate! It is looking like December 2013 will be my lucky graduation date, but we will see. I am trying not to put too much pressure on myself, but at the same time I just want to get this phase out of my life and move on so I can do what I love, which is to tell/ talk to people about history (insert dork joke here). Anyways, I have to get my day started so I can start my summer vacation!

Until next time..