What an evening...

My depression is back, and when it is back the only thing I find happiness in is sleeping. Even though I might not be able to sleep well, the idea of being in my bed is joy for me. I have alot on my mind right now, and a tad stressed. Not knowing what is going to be happening in a month (job, school, family issues, etc) is freaking me out. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous. I am REALLY trying to lift it all to God, but I am feeling so overwhelmed at the same time. Trusting in something that you can't see is soo hard! Nobody said being a Christian would be easy.

So last night wasn't any different then any other evening. If y'all read my twitter/facebook updates y'all know I go to sleep SUPER early. I almost skipped making dinner last night, but knowing that food is brain power helped me make it. I almost fell asleep early but got caught up on tv shows that were on. Finally fell asleep around 9:30. Then woke up at 3:00 to the sound of the wind (I live on the third floor and the wind is SUPER loud) and thunder. Everytime I tried to fall asleep the lighting and thunder would just keep getting brighter and louder. Since I was awake, I got on facebook and was amazed to find that several other people were up, so that was comforting. Rain storms normally don't freak me out, but this one was lasting a long time and since I live alone, I don't know, this one just did. The sound of the thunder hitting and the flashing light of the lighting was a reminder to me about what I am going through in life. Just when the storm was at its worst, it suddenly got calmer and then it stopped around 5 something. What a relief knowing that it would eventually stop. Sometimes in life, it seems like things just keep getting more complicated, more stressful, and then things get better.

That is my hope, my goal. Start focusing on the calmness of the storm, and not the actual storm (if that makes sense). God will never put too much on your plate, never put too much that you can't handle. WHAT A RELIEF! I know that the rainbow is coming soon in my 'life', I'm just going through a pretty bad storm. Yeah it involves flooding, and wind damage but the blue skies are starting to come out and the rainbow is coming. Just continue to keep me in y'alls prayers.

Lindsey